My clients are often embarrassed to show up at my doorstep to request coaching support. There’s some form of “I should have been able to figure this out on my own,” that slips into the conversation. Asking for support often seems to them as a pride issue and they see it as a failure.
Should we be able to figure it out ourselves? What evidence do you have that you should be able to figure it out solo? Because everyone else has it all figured out and didn’t need any help getting there?
It always makes me think of elite athletes. Would we ever look at Serena Williams or Roger Federer and say “eesh, how awkward that they really couldn’t figure it out themselves”? Do we look down on them and see their coach as proof that they couldn’t become a champion on their own? Never.
We look at them and see that it’s completely logical. We say “of course they’ve enrolled the help of a professional to get targeted support to be at the top of their game”. But if there’s one thing we’re great at, it’s beating ourselves up and assuming personal failure when it’s us in the situation.
What if we GET to invest in ourselves?
It’s not that you can’t get to where you want to be in your career without support, but why wouldn’t you get support if you can? What if we allow ourselves to shift from “I should” to “I get to” invest? Here’s what can come out of the opportunity to invest:
Accountability and the challenge to take action. You know how often you push back your commitments when it’s just for you? Mmhmm, ask me how I know.
Accelerated learning. How long do you want to be unclear on how to make a decision you’ll feel good about? If support could take off a year of waffling and pain, would it be worth it?
New ways of thinking. You’ll experience reframes, mindset shifts, and new tools.
A break from the echo chamber in your head. The voices in the echo chamber of your head are probably pretty rude and unhelpful. Getting to speak to another human that’s outside of your mind is so clarifying.
For my clients, here’s what happened when they shifted to allowing themselves to invest in their career:
“I made so much more progress in a couple of months of working with Lindsay than I did in the years I spent alone feeling anxious about my career prospects”
“If you feel like you are really in your head and running through different work scenarios you experience in your day-to-day to the point it's driving you crazy, you should definitely consider working with Lindsay as a way to work through specific problems in an unbiased way.”
The gift of support
Let’s take it one step further, not only do you get to invest in yourself, but it’s a huge gift for your life. It takes courage, determination, and vulnerability to work with someone, and it can give you peace of mind, confidence, and self-worth. These clients say it better than I ever could:
“I didn't expect that clarity would make such a big difference but the constant reframes helped me to change the narrative I've been telling myself and develop a much stronger confidence and love for myself and what I have to offer.”
“Working with you was the best decision I’ve made for myself in years. [...] I spent a long time unaware of my unique strengths and too long ignoring what I REALLY desired in my life. Not anymore! I have clarity, energy, and confidence. I’m at ease with my decisions. I’m excited about the future. What a gift to live this way!”
“The biggest act of self-love is taking time for yourself to deeply consider your path. If you're feeling unsatisfied, anxious, afraid about your path and future and you don't take time to investigate why, you are doing yourself a disservice. You deserve to spend time and energy on developing perspective on what makes you feel whole. Your future self will gladly thank you. Otherwise, everything will stay the same. Nothing will change for you unless you ignite it.”
So what are you making it mean that you can’t “do it by yourself” and what would it mean to give yourself the gift of support?
Working with a coach is not a personal failure, it’s a courageous action toward what you want to contribute to this world.