When I talk to clients about their job search or about cultivating development opportunities at their current job, I ask them what pressures they feel about their career. Here are some of the most recent answers:
I feel so behind and so much pressure to keep up and be the best.
My job has to be impressive and prove to people that I am smart/worthwhile.
I should be farther ahead in my career given my age.
I have to be constantly advancing in my career. Each role should be more impressive and senior.
I need to have it all figured out.
My job has to be “cool” and shiny.
Keep a good job that you think is Okay. Most people don’t really like their jobs.
Now imagine showing up to an interview or looking at a job you want to apply to with THOSE voices along for the ride. I would quit before even getting started! No job would ever live up to those external expectations. And that happens so often without us even noticing.
Most of us go about our job searches and our quests for career development with these voices that are dominated by external pressure and lacking any agency, power, or freedom. We wonder why we’re not showing up the way we want to in interviews or finding the opportunities we really want.
I love to jokingly ask, “So... who made up those stories? And how’s that going for you?”
The good news is that you’ve likely made up these stories which means that you might as well make up a different story that actually works for you. So I give my clients an opportunity to create new voices that get to come along for the ride—voices that come from values, choice, clarity, and the joy of cultivating new opportunities:
I have so much to offer and such a unique perspective.
I’m looking for opportunities that feel fun where I get to be creative.
I get to try multiple things and give myself the option to change my mind.
I’m incredibly clear on what I want, and I’m going to allow myself to be seen.
I've done really cool and exciting things. No one has my perspective and individuality.
I’m going to be clear and direct with my values and have no more fear of having direct conversations in interviews.
Can you feel the relief, lightness, and possibility??
I guarantee that you will get completely different results from a job search or a conversation with your manager by bringing those voices along for the ride.
So make sure you look at the pressures that may be secretly dominating your thoughts and create a much kinder story for yourself. I’ve created a framework here to help you reframe your job search. Please share it with anyone else that could benefit as well.